Don’t Shave Your Ears
So the other day I was shaving my ears in a parking lot. Don't look at me that way. You get to be my age you start to shave hair in surprising places. The peach fuzz around my ear lobe is now an orchard. I have long white ear whiskers that require a trim from time to time. At least I'm not one of those guys who trys to do the comb-over thing with ear hair. That's so last year. So I carry a razor with me in the car. It's labeled In Case of Shaving Emergency, Break Glass.
Well, on this particular morning, before going in to see an important law firm, I was doing my usual once-over. Tie straight? Socks on? Hair foliage? And it was then that I noticed the longest tufts of ear hair this side of Andy Rooney. Not to worry, I broke out my high quality 99 cent Bic razor!
So I'm shaving away and the little suckers are just not coming easy. They're kind of protected in the valley terrain behind the little mountain on the front part of your ear. I don't know how else to explain it except in topographical map terminology. I'm a court reporter not an Ears, Nose and Throat specialist. Then again, I'm not a map expert either -- I just know my way around a fuzzy ear lobe.
But like I was saying, these particular hairs were playing hard to cut. Every possible angle -- from the top, from the side, from behind -- I just was making no progress. And now I'm becoming late for my client meeting. I either stop mid-shave and go in with home grown ear muffs or I continue working, risk cutting myself and walk in late for the meeting. So as I held the napkin to my bleeding ear, I explained the situation to my very patient client who lovingly recounted the story to all within earshot.
Morals of the story: Don't shave in a parking lot -or- Razor blades and deadlines don't mix -or- Some things can't be rushed -or- Don't bleed over the small stuff!
Thursday, May 24, 2007